I say 'usually', because there are times when you feel as though your attack didn't register when it should have, or a strike you thought probably missed just killed someone. The complexity of the combat doesn't detract from the brutality and the feeling of impact that you usually experience when you swing your blade at some poor dude's face. Learning all the little tricks to maximize your damage, and even just the timing of your hits, means Warband has a rather steep learning curve that must be tackled before you start having fun. Thrusting forward while you're on horseback will deal much more damage than trying to back-slash someone as you ride past them. The direction you swing from, whether or not you're moving – and which direction you're moving in – and the proximity of your enemy to you can all affect how much damage each swing of your weapon inflicts. On horseback, a voulge may only function as a thrusting-weapon, but when you dismount, you can swing away for much more damage. Each weapon deals a certain kind of damage, and most can be used in several different ways. Take, for example, the game's combat system.

Gameplay has a few different layers, and each of these layers houses a great deal of complexity. But for all the ugly, Warband has a lot going on under the hood. Open areas look a great deal nicer, but even then, there's never a jaw-dropping or even a 'ooh, that's pretty!' moment. Character models and structures all have quite low polygon-counts, and most walls have pretty low-rez textures. At its worst – which is basically any indoor location, most towns, and the overworld – it looks like it was released a decade ago. At its best, Warband looks like the missing link between Morrowind and Oblivion. In this sense it is very similar to the Elder Scrolls games, except not even remotely technically groundbreaking. The game definitely nudges you in certain directions, but following those suggestions or completely forging your own path is ultimately up to you. In Warband, like the original, you take the role of an individual on a fictional landmass known as Calradia, and are basically free to do whatever you want. Being a stand-alone, you don't need the original game to play. Warband is the stand-alone expansion to the original Mount and Blade, released towards the end of 2008. But like beard-girl, Warband has a really good personality and if you close your eyes when you kiss you can pretend that the facial hair is just a scarf or something. If games were women, Mount and Blade: Warband would be that girl with a hormone disorder that made her have kind of a beard.

Mount and Blade: Warband is not the prettiest game on the market.

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